10th October

So as I start to type this, a heaviness is weighing me down, I feel drained out. Like i have no energy. I am just on twitter talking to 3 people, blogging, got indian music in my ears and watching the images on TV and reading the subs occasionally. I have this throbbing on the right side of my head as I hit it when i fell… anyways.

10th October, that the date today, well in the west portion of the globe it is. Today is mental health awareness day, people were encouraged to wear purple and a red button to represent a panic button. I did it too, and I looked like barney, had the button tied to my wrist the whole day. I wore it because I wanted to show my support. I wore it because I care, to show that my support will forever be for this cause, that I am an advocate for mental health and the people who suffer from it.

But honestly, I was talking to @antmeads and he was saying how it’s not like people ‘are not aware’ of mental health issues, because they are, everyone knows they exist, that people battle with them on a daily basis. I’ll tell you why people do it, it’s because they feel that if they wear purple and a red button, it’s the job done, wear it once, maybe twice a year and there responsibility towards the cause is done. Well newsflash! it’s not.

The truth is, no one needs to be AWARE! Honestly, everyone is aware. The real problem isn’t lack of knowledge and awareness, it’s lack of importance and the taboo that is assigned with the subject.

In the society we live in, especially in my community, talking about mental issues or feelings is pretty much a taboo; they’d rather hear us say that we’re moody rather than hearing the word depression. Depression is looked down upon, thought of as a phase,. The truth is, everyone knows exactly what depression really is. In our lives, we have all heard the word; we all know it’s a sadness that takes over one’s life. Isn’t that enough knowledge to act considerate?

I mean depression is like cancer, it’s self perpetuating, it’s you dying from the inside, no one can really see it. But then why is it, that when people have depression they’re expected to snap out of it, but if someone has cancer no-one does the same? In my opinion depression is just as bad as cancer, maybe worse. Why? I’ll tell you. What is cancer? According to the dictionary, cancer is: a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body. Basically, something is gone wrong and your body is now killing you without realising. After you find out, your heartbreaks, you feel sad and in general you feel both agony and sadness.  The word gets round eventually, and everyone kind of understands, they’re a little more caring towards you, in general, no one ever tells you ‘it’s your fault’ or ‘snap out of it’. Just that it’s an illness and they hope you get better.

But what is depression? Depression is the same, your body is dying from inside, hollowing, as a severe heaviness takes over. Nothing feels right, you don’t want to do anything, and everything feels like a chore: eating, studying, even waking up in the morning is hard. Your mind has this self perpetuating cycle that starts and you lose yourself to it completely. You feel like wanting to be alone, so you end up isolating yourself, that isolation becomes overwhelming, suddenly you look around and realise no one is there with you, which sets off the feeling of low self worth and self value. So just as how in cancer your cells abnormally divide, in depression your pain abnormally divides, one thing leads to another. But then worst part is, no one understands, no one says ‘get well soon’ or that ‘they understand’ instead they expect you to do something, to stop ‘acting in that way’. So not only do you die from inside, but having no caring environment breaks you completely.

So, yeah cancer is painful and can slowly kill you, but so can depression. You die in both, one slower than the other,  yet you see neither, so why judge just the one?

This post was just me venting a few things, sorry if anyone was offended. I have nothing against people who have cancer. I only have a problem with the way the two illness are treated so differently. I want to end it off by saying: IF YOUR ARE DEPRESSED, FORGET EVERYONE, I BELIEVE AND UNDERSTAND YOU, THERE’S NOTHING OT BE ASHAMED OF. Like i say after each post, contact me if u want to on

twitter: @rabzmap

email: rabzmap@hotmail.co.uk

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